Pink Sheets

RedneckRoleModel on the Motley Fool message board for Berkshire Hathaway posted a link to a new feature on the SEC's EDGAR database of SEC filings. It's still in beta testing, but it works great: search engine.

But that's not the best part. RP99 found the most humorous SEC filing I've ever seen. An amendment to the incorporation of City National Bankshares Corporation, Exhibit 3i:

RESOLVED, a description of such 6% Non-cumulative Perpetual Preferred Stock, Series E, including the preferences and other rights, voting powers, restrictions, limitations as to dividends, qualifications, and terms and conditions for redemption, all as set by the Board of Direc you fucking new when i asked you liartors of the Corporation, is set forth in the attached Certificate of Designation Establishing the 6% Non-cumulative Perpetual Preferred Stock, Series E and Fixing the Powers, Designations, Preferences and Relative, Participating, Optional and Other Special Rights, and the Qualifications, Limitations and Restrictions, of the 6% Non-cumulative Perpetual Preferred Stock, Series E.

Yes, that is actually in the document submitted to the SEC and posted to the world. They really need to amend that document and change "new" to "knew". Sheesh.

I found a few of my own...

PALM's 10-Q filed on 1/10/2006 says:

Partially offsetting this decrease was an increase in warranty expenses of 1.6 percentage points due to a shit in our product mix towards smartphones.

In a correspondence filed on 5/25/2005 for Euroweb International Corp,

I trust shit has clarified matters. Should you have further questions, please do not hesitate to contact me.

A management agreement for Global Traffic Network Inc filed on 3/15/2006 says:

No modification or waiver of any provision of this Agreement shall be effective unless in writing and signed by the party against whore such modification or waiver is asserted.

And then we have an interesting Letter from the Management Company filed June 24, 2004 to the Chairman and CEO of InterCept, Inc.

I am writing to inform you that we agree with the market's determination that InterCept, Inc. (the "Company") should be worth substantially more with your imminent involuntary extraction from the position of Chief Executive Officer, which we would expect to result from the likely sale of the Company. Accordingly, we have increased our stake in the Company to 1,750,000 shares, 8.6% of the outstanding common valued at approximately $29 million.

As you know from our letter to you dated May 27, 2004, we have grave doubts about your managerial skill, fitness to run a public company and business judgment. All of these criticisms were substantiated by the investigation that we conducted and the numerous examples that were provided. For these reasons and the others identified here and in our prior correspondence, we will be pleased to withhold authority for a vote in favor of your re-election whenever the postponed annual meeting is held.

Unfortunately, your depiction of Third Point Management as a "sleazy hedge fund" in the June 12, 2004 Atlanta Journal-Constitution is totally baseless and possibly libelous. For someone who acquired iBill, a purported "merchant processing business" whose real activity is primarily to provide billing services to hard core pornographic websites, your credibility as moral arbiter is not strong. Perhaps from your vantage point in the porno industry, you find it unsavory that I support a children's cancer hospital (Tomorrow's Children's Fund), education for disadvantaged youth (Prep for Prep), women's rights in third world countries (Equality Now) and numerous other charities. Maybe it is the fact that, since inception, my business has generated over $600 million in profits and provided numerous jobs, which you find offensive.

In any event, calling your second largest shareholder "sleazy" in the media is further evidence of your poor judgment and exemplifies the type of behavior that should provide you with ample opportunity to join your son-in-law on the golf course in the not too distant future.

Sincerely,

/s/ Daniel S. Loeb

Daniel S. Loeb

Dude, don't hold back so much.

And then there's this wonderful quote from a letter to the board of The New Germany Fund.

Both Saddam and the directors of The New Germany Fund are guilty of using their power illegitimately to guarantee victory by holding a sham election. Make no mistake. The directors of The New Germany Fund and their corrupt lawyers are not fooling anyone. It is obvious that their real goal is to retain control over the Fund even if shareholders want to elect other persons as directors. Here is a fundamental truth that you and your sleazy lawyers should tattoo on your arms: "It is always in the shareholders' interest to have a fair election."

Give'em hell, Phillip!

UPDATE June 13:
In the comments section, Kurt Preston found a great one here for Wanger Advisors Trust. I mean, how often do you find a limerick in an SEC filing.

A sexy young techie named Fisk,
Had a motion exceedingly brisk.
So fast was his action
The Lorentz contraction
Shortened his rod to a disk.

and he also found this interesting exchange.

At Mr. Stearns’ criminal trial, the government, which had previously seized all of Mr. Stearns’ assets, conclusively proved that not only had he defrauded the investors, but that he had also duped Mr. Wylie and numerous others as part of his scheme. Although Mr. Wylie and his law firm were neither aware of, nor participated in, the ponzi scheme, they were nevertheless sued in a civil action by the defrauded investors.

Yikes!